The Most Awkward Christmas Album Covers...Ever

Monday, December 03, 2012 - 12:00 AM

Christmas album art has its own unique tradition. There are the decorated trees, the fuzzy sweaters and the evocative winter scenes — and then there are the rest. Enjoy our trip through the history of truly awkward Christmas covers and share your own favorites in the comments box below.

 

 

 

 

 

The red dress gets its own curtain call:

Because one harp just wouldn't do.

One of several "Christmas from Vienna" albums by Placido Domingo and friends in the '90s.

In the Spirit: A new fragrance by Jessye Norman.

"No, let's go with the snowy mountain backdrop."

???

If Mozart did write "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," would he have signed off on this cover?

"Come...join me by the fireplace"

And on keyboard...

"Dear, I'm starting to think the snowsuit wasn't such a good idea for this shoot."

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Comments [5]

Awkward? Well, poor Marsalis is obviously awkward being upstaged by the red dress, but for the lot of ten Christmas album covers collected by WQXR, “awkward” is not the word. Maybe “surreal” or “horrifying,” but really no single adjective suffices.

Somehow, Christmas music featuring two harps (and not-quite-identical twin sisters?) seems to turn the supposedly angelic subject faintly evil.

Somebody . . . please . . . tell me there never was anything like a “Silent Night” duet featuring Placido Domingo and Michael Bolton.

Note to the art director on the Jesse Crawford album: Christmas eggnog is one thing. Christmas meth is something else entirely.

Hey, Slim! You’re scaring the kiddies!!

I’ve decided what to give my enemies for Christmas: a cat.

How did DG persuade Karajan to pose for that shot? They told him Solti struck out with that babe.

Dec. 07 2012 10:18 AM
Mrs. Braeswood from Houston

The Leroy Anderson cover with the cat is one of my childhood favorites. I don't understand why it is included with this motley collection of awkward images. I think it is a great album cover!

Dec. 05 2012 11:29 AM
concetta nardone from Nassau

One of my levels of hell would be to condemn someone to listen to Have yourself a Merry little Christmas for all eternity. Would also include having to listen to Jerry Vale forever and ever. Did like the cover with the cat. I have a cd of Michael Bolton singing arias. Honest effort. Thought Miss Norman looked very nice.

Dec. 04 2012 11:26 AM
Andrew B. from Lower Merion, PA

Nice bunch of truly awful album covers. Unfortunately, as time as gone by, the album cover has become a lsot art. While you can still manage to squeeze a good bit of unsightliness on a CD cover (often the booklets contain some choice random photographs), it's nothing like the amount of space LPs offered. And now with mp3, there's nothing to speak of.

Space on LP covers was also used productively (on the back) to sell the music, to tell prospective purchasers about the composer, pieces, and performers. CDs never allowed that. And now you can't even go to your local music store to browse (unless, perhaps, you're still close to a B&N that has a music section).

Dec. 03 2012 06:21 PM
Boswell

You could have chosen a MUCH better Jessye Norman example...The "Christmastide" album where a gigantic wreath merges with the top of her head and appears to be part of her hairstyle:
http://tinyurl.com/cmxp94l

Dec. 03 2012 01:53 PM

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