Take Your Money and Run

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We've had some lovely submissions to the WQXR "Share Your Wedding Playlist" contest — and some that are clearly tongue in cheek, which reminded me of my very first professional gig as a singer.

Jesus Christ Superstar was at the height of its popularity, and I got a call to perform its hit tune, "I Don't Know How to Love Him," at a wedding. If you know your vintage Andrew Lloyd Weber, you know that this number, with lyrics by Tim Rice, may be the single least appropriate song for a wedding: "I don't know how to love him — what to do, how to move him. He's a man. He's just a man. And I've had so many men before — in very many ways, he's just one more."

I didn't know the bride or groom.  I just sang the song, took the money, and ran. 

What's the least appropriate thing you've ever heard — or performed — at a wedding?